Wednesday, September 14, 2011

Crazy Lady at the Gas Station

Down the road from my house lies a Taylor gas station. I frequently visit this gas station so that I may procure their awesome sodas for my offspring and myself. I firmly believe that their carbonation/syrup mix, combined with their crushed ice is easily the best drinks in town.

Today, I went there and began the slow and arduous task of unbuckling my 2-year-old son and 6-month-old daughter. Since this includes finding and replacing the shoes and socks that my son has taken off during the ride over, this can take a while.

While I was thus occupied, I overheard a woman at the pumps. Her mouth must have been a blur of action as she emitted strings of cursing. Among other things, I overheard her call someone a ... well ... I'll be PC here and say "the N word."

I did not know what was going on, and frankly, it was none of my business, so I continued unbuckling the children. At this time, I noticed a large black woman waddling in my direction. She was muttering things as she came, and I was under the impression that she was talking to me.

As she passed me by, she very loudly said, "white trash." Although I was by now almost certain that she was talking to me, I ignored this comment, as I had children to consider and she was clearly insane. Therefore, I went into the gas station.

The black lady stood near the front of the store surveying the other people in the gas station.I hurriedly filled my cups and made my way to the checkout counter. Sadly, there was a line.

By now, a Mexican woman was at the drink fountain near the back of the store. The black woman waddled over to her and said "Mexican _____." I had never heard the word that she uttered, but it must have been some slang that was very, very bad.

The Mexican woman stood in shock while the black woman made her way back toward the front of the store. Then, the Mexican woman said, "Excuse me. Are you talking to me?" The black woman said, "No, I ain't talkin' to you -- why would I be talkin' to your Mexican a**?"

At this point, although I was up to the counter and trying hard to get the cashier to hurry, she was distracted, and I was stuck.

A bald, buff man who might be considered a Neo Nazi came over to me. He said, "I'm sorry, but this woman scares me. I want to protect the kids." I thanked him for his consideration, as I was quite certain that this woman was insane, and dangerous.

Meanwhile, the yelling had continued between the Mexican woman and the black woman. Amid threats of physical violence, the Mexican woman said, "I'm going to call the cops on your a**!" In response, the black woman wisely chose to make a quick exit.

After the door closed, the people in the gas station looked like survivors of World War III. The unfortunate Mexican lady was confused asking, "What did I do to her?" I answered, "It wasn't your fault. That woman's crazy."

"Really?" she asked.

"Definitely," I replied and, having paid for my drinks, I vacated the premises.